THE RELATIONSHIP PROCESS:
Healing of the Wounds Between You and Rediscovering the Beauty in Each Other
- We stop creating any more injury by learning to communicate without blame
- We identify what needs are not being met for both individuals
- We explore why this is and how this happened
- We find solutions honoring each individuals integrity
- We explore your Human Design Composite Chart
The first step to healing any relationship is to identify the true needs of both individuals and then find ways to get these needs met in a healthy way for both people. The only place to begin is to heal and empower the individuals within the relationship which will lead to the inevitable healthy relating of two whole individuals who are at peace with themselves first.
Both Human Design Individual and Composite readings are invaluable tools in providing a profound foundation for the counseling work as it helps us discover your basic wiring as individuals and how those basic wiring interact with each other…the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is crucial in understanding the deeper dynamics at work in a relationship that are beyond simply personality issues.
Practical tools are also given to help you begin to relax into the truth of what is real within you and between you and your partner and how to communicate lovingly yet truthfully.
The first step to change is always to face and accept what is real; healing never begins from a point of pretense. Beverly is astonishingly skillful in creating a safe environment for truth to be revealed and an immense wisdom to heal what presents itself efficiently and compassionately.
A Synopsis of the Three Components Needed for
Healing and Transformation
True Transformational Work can only be productively entered into when three key elements are in place — Safety, Permission, and Invitation.
In addition, a very real sufficiency of Center, Presence, Compassion, Wisdom, and Awareness are fundamentally required to create these elements at depth.
The Safety to feel and know your deep Truth is first, as it is most fundamental… nothing can proceed without it. It must be safe to feel truth. Beverly’s heart and deep aware presence have been said to be the most unique and powerful gifts that she offers.
Beverly believes that Safety is created and best expressed by these words… “No Harm, No Shame, No Guilt, No Blame”. We do not need to harm, shame, guilt, or blame any part of us (or anyone else for that matter.) What we do need is to be compassionately self responsible and self loving to our pained parts, our shadow.
Shadow can be best understood as the parts of us that act out in our life in less than admirable ways… they are the hidden elements of our psyche that carry great amounts of pain and act out beneath our level of consciousness. We commonly find that when its pain (fear/anger/sadness) is acting out in the world, that it is attacked, shamed, guilt tripped, or blamed. Anything is done to shut it up, or control/repress its behavior – and any uncomfortable truth that the behavior points to. Any of these events individually repeated (though usually in combination) actually become the oppressing catalyst that drives these parts of us underground… into the shadows. We can not heal our pain until we can understand why it hurts and acts out. To do this, the healing arena must be safe.
Permission is also critical, and in Beverly’s view is simply this — permission to be (for the first time in forever) an honest, open, very real, uncensored expression of truth… whether that truth is pain, sadness, fear, anger, etc. For this reason, Permission is utterly intertwined with Safety, and at its facilitated best, the honest open expression of true feelings (even those based in ideas, misunderstandings, etc) are not only allowed, but welcomed. We WANT to hear their pain and are strong enough in our love to hold the field for their healing.
Invitation comes last because Safety and Permission must be established first. Safety and Permission open the way, gain their (inner shadow, inner child, or sub self parts) attention, and build hope and trust — and then the Invitation comes, calling their attention to what is most true Now. Calling them forward to this moment… out of their armoured ideas, positions, and agendas… out of their pain/rage/terror/grief and into the wholeness of what they have not known in forever… Love, Freedom,Relief. They are invited to come home… home to the truth of their Being… home to Love.